gentle faith – Raising Gentle Faith

Godly Play Part 2

So I found another Godly Play script on the internet- this one is the parable of the Good Shepherd. I went to Michaels to get all my supplies and began memorizing the script. The script was much longer and I found the task to be daunting. It actually took me several weeks. I just had other things coming up and not a lot of quiet time to spend memorizing. I do believe that this could be a spiritual experience for me as well but it may be too daunting to do every week. So I’m thinking about how to maybe stagger the Godly Play weeks. I could fudge it a bit but I found the wording of the script to be powerful and not always intuitive. I don’t want my kids to miss out on an opportunity because I didn’t really “perform” the story correctly.

After finally getting the script for the Good Shepherd down and finding the right moment this Sunday, I embarked on my second Godly Play attempt with revised expectations. I worked hard to be patient as critical parts of the story got interrupted, as I repeated myself on several occasions. Periodically I wondered if they were even hearing the best parts and found myself working hard to refrain from yelling or threatening…I kept working with the frustrated parts of myself and the parts that put a lot of pressure on me to do this right. It actually went pretty smooth but it was hard for my frustration to relax.

They were pretty excited about it, Max in particular seemed to really light up at the idea of doing Children’s Church- we had missed the last two weeks. But I think what was truly rewarding was the prayer time. After they had played with the stories of fifteen minutes (Max played with the Good Shepherd and Maddox played with the story of Jesus welcoming the children) we had a brief time of prayer. Max asked God to hug me and lick my like a lion and Maddox wanted God to play with him. There were some genuinely sweet moments during this time and I continued to see glimpses of Max’s memory regarding our Children’s Church times.

It is hard to put into words the “magic” around seasoned Godly Play “story tellers.” I have spent almost 20 years in the study and training of human nature, growth and healing. During that time I’ve learned different therapeutic modalities and watched countless demonstrations. Over the course of that time you began to pick up on subtle cues that differentiate a novice from an expert even when they use the same words and techniques. What I observed in these seasoned teachers were elements that you can’t find in the script. I think Jerome Berryman does an excellent job describing the process and the inner state of the story teller. In the therapeutic community it is well recognized that what goes on internally for the therapist is just as critical as the interventions done. So part of my self critique involves some of those elements. The story tellers for Godly Play provide a very unique space that invites internal parts of the child to emerge and have an experience that other kinds of teaching does not.

The “wondering” phase is an art form that is integral to the process but not easily done. It takes time to learn the art and science behind engaging children this way- at least that’s the case for me. What I am referring to as the wondering phase is actually a series of “I wonder” questions that can get sprinkled throughout the story but often a majority come at the end. Here are some examples:

I wonder if these sheep have names? · I wonder if the sheep are happy inside this place? · I wonder where this place could really be? · I wonder if you have ever come close to such a place? · I wonder if you have ever found good grass? · I wonder if you have ever had the cool, fresh, clear water touch you? · I wonder if you have ever had to go through a place of danger? · I wonder how you got through? · I wonder if you have ever been lost? · I wonder if you have ever been found? · I wonder if the Good Shepherd has ever called your name? · I wonder where this whole place could really be?

Some of the questions in the scripts are quite sophisticated and deep. They subtly invite and stretch the child’s understanding:

The box is also closed. There is a lid. Maybe there is a parable inside. Sometimes, even if we are ready, we can’t enter a parable. Parables are like that. Sometimes they stay closed. The box looks like a present. Parables were given to you long ago as presents. Even if you don’t know what a parable is, the parable is yours already. You don’t have to take them, or buy them, or get them in any way. They already belong to you.

I’ll try to go into some of the details of Godly Play in some future blogs.

Godly Play PART 1

A while back when I was sending my plea out to the twitter-verse for ideas about helping my kids discover their worth in God, Jonathan Puddle graciously extended an invitation to talk about this and about possibly adapting his book for use with my children. It was a deeply rewarding conversation. I ended up reading his book, “You Are Enough” and doing his meditations, and found both to be an amazing experience.

Some time later, I was listening to a podcast by Jonathan . He was interviewing Julie Canlis about her book “A Theology of the Ordinary,” and she happened to mention something about Godly Play. She stated that it was invented by Jerome Berryman and it was based upon the Montessori theory of learning, of which I am a big fan.

So I “googled” it to learn a bit more about it. I found a YouTube video of a woman doing the parable of the great pearl (https://youtu.be/h-b3T7HfXYY) and I was mesmerized. The protocol involves memorizing the script which is an adaptation of the parable and use craft materials to enact the story. Afterwards the children are invited to play with the story or any other story that they have done as well as do a craft in response to the story. And at the end there is a little “feast” which would consist of water and crackers.

I decided to show the YouTube video to my oldest son to see if this would be of interest. It was met with mixed review. He didn’t seem to be thrilled with it that much but then he asked the next night to watch it again. It seemed that he would get very engaged and then lose interest. I thought that was enough.

So being me I ordered Berryman’s book and began a search of peer reviewed journal articles to see if any research had been done. I found an excellent article in the International Journal of Children’s Spirituality . Kathy Frady did a study using this method with 2-year-olds in a few church settings. She did the story of how Jesus welcomed the children after his disciples tried to turn them away. Her script was short and included in the journal article, so I decided to use that one as my first Godly Play.

I set up the play room with two mats and I put together the materials for the story. I found a large book shaped box to house it and I found craft supplies (and a rock) to use for the story. It was kind of rewarding to create this visual, reusable story box.

It was a lot of work, memorizing the script and putting the “set” together. I had high expectations based upon what I had read, seen and prepared for. My expectations were way too high! In hindsight it went fine but I was greatly disappointed during it. I’m finding that doing this at home presents some challenges that are less likely in a Church setting with a teacher. I’ll talk more about this in upcoming blogs as I try and work through them. I think there may need to be some adaptations down the road but I’m going to stick with the official protocol for a bit as I learn it’s nuances. There are some deep nuances to the script that I’ll comment on in later posts as well.

Feel free to send you comments, questions or observations. If any of you have some experience with Godly Play I’d love to hear from you.

God’s Garden

This week I opted to write a story for the kids. I’ve been deterred by this idea because I really can’t draw and I know at this age it is the pictures that really draw them in but I decided it was the best vehicle for what I was trying to introduce and the most intimate. I could get them to quiet down and sit on my lap where they would be more focused.

I do believe that “story telling” is a powerful vehicle at their age, much more so than ours. By the time we are adults much of the information we take in is filtered through the logical analytical parts of us. There is something called “invariant representation” which is a process whereby our brain will cut off access to somatic areas of the brain and simply have us relate to something on the conceptual level. In other words, when we see our house we may be “seeing” the concept of our house rather than our house itself. We don’t really experience the house, we interact with the idea of the house in our head. This is efficient for a variety of reasons but we lose quite a bit. It is why children can watch the same thing over and over as if for the first time- all their circuitry is online. They are not dealing with the “idea” of something, they are experiencing the something itself. This is what we gradually lose as we have more and more contact with the world around us. So story is a powerful experience for children- the magic is still there. They sit closer to their imaginations and inner worlds than we do. We analyze, they experience. Stories may not be as powerful for us because we need to experience more.

The “story” I “wrote” was “God’s Garden” and I drew from the garden of Eden theme. I wanted them to think about walking with God. The “story” instructed them to close their eyes and imagine walking with God in the garden. It lasted briefly but they both engaged in the exercise. My 4 year old talked about seeing the bees in his garden.

I then gave them paper and asked them to draw a picture as if God were making a picture for them. My 2 1/2 year old was scribbling and making lots of dots on the page. My oldest saw that and said that God knows Maddox likes dots. The very first thing my 4 year old wanted to draw was a heart.

My oldest then wanted to write his own book and put it together with some of the same elements as mine but he included a page that said “God loves you.” Later that day we watched the movie Animal Crackers and when a character declared “I am a God,” Max said, “No he isn’t, God’s nice and there is only one God.” What I love about these utterances is that they come from him. I’m not dogmatic or very “teachy,” most of what they have learned about God have been from these Sunday School lessons. I don’t talk about it every day and tend to just wait for moments to arise. So when I hear him say these things it’s exciting because these are connections that he is making and thinking about. I love that he is embracing God’s kindness because God is much kinder than I am. I wish and pray that I could be kinder and gentler but I make mistakes, God never does. In the story, I remind them that God’s voice is kind. I got that reminder from an author that I recently got in contact with and it was such a nice reminder.

We were at the park the other day and while my oldest son was on the swing he told me that he could see God’s love. He phrased it in a really unique Max kind of way, talking about how God was dropping His love in places. I didn’t get the full gist but I was thankful that he was thinking about these things and trusting that God was showing him something that would mean something between the two of them.

The boys in the mirror (Wk 9)

I have to say I was pretty excited about Sunday’s lesson. I’m not sure why, but I just thought it was a good follow up to the lessons I’ve been trying to teach the kids about their self worth. I warned my wife in advance about her participation.

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

I had my wife draw a picture (she’s a MUCH better artist than me). When the lesson started I was going to compliment the artwork specifically and then crumple it up, but I decided that I didn’t want to model that behavior. Remembering that my oldest really liked Orange and Carrot from the previous lessons I decided to have Orange make a guest appearance and have him do the crumpling. Orange was great because he got both of the kids focused after we watched some song videos. Orange, by the way, is just a tangerine with eyes and a mouth that I drew on it. Obviously, every time orange makes an appearance he is a new orange (the old ones don’t last that long).

So I showed them Mommy’s picture and talked about all the things that I really liked about it. Then Orange came up and crumpled it (I warned my wife in advance that this would happen). They got a kick out of it and after I asked them they were able to articulate why that was wrong. I stretched that part out a bit talking about valuing someone’s artwork and then I brought it back to us.

I brought out a full length mirror and set it up. I looked in the mirror and thanked God for the attributes that I thought he did a great job with. It went something like “Thank you God, you did a great job with my smile.” Then my wife stood in front of the mirror and did the same. We thanked God for physical qualities and internal qualities. I thought both were important because we also have to learn to love and respect our bodies as well as our other attributes.

When it came time for my oldest to do it he kind of clammed up. I really wanted him to say what he thought God did a good job on but I think he might have gotten a little shy. So as my four year old stood in front of the mirror, I held his shoulders looked at the reflection and thanked God for some of his amazing attributes. My wife said that the expression on his face indicated how meaningful it was to him. My two year old got in front of the mirror, put both hands on his chest and said “Maddox!” It was cute. I stepped in and tried to do the same with him as I did with my older son but it was a little more difficult to hold his attention.

I then played the video and I gave each of them hugs telling them “I love my picture!” They seemed to really get a kick out of it. Max and Maddox have made references to the lessons periodically so they seem to be meaningful. I suspect that part of that is because it is a unique time and that I am pulling in some things that are meaningful to them. I’m still wondering when the well will dry up and I’ll run out of idea.